tales of Suchita

The first time we met
You helped destroy my cage
And though it was I who was holding you
It was you who was comforting me.

The second time we met
You dazzled me with your laugh
And showered me with attention
Reminding me that I was special too.

The third time we met
You danced for me your crooked dance
And though it was you who was in bliss
It was I who was soaring high.

The fourth time we met
You recognized that part of me
That was hurting, that was in need
With a smile and a chuckle you healed me.

The fifth and sixth time we met
I realized I was deep in love
So deep that the fear started to strangle
The little hope I had of you being mine.

Now I am a mess,
Scared of loving you
Convinced I am not important to you
Spiralling through an abyss of self-loathing.

But the seventh time we met
Nor you nor I had changed
The love still flowed freely
Despite the fear, despite the loathing.

Surely we would be okay now?
Surely the fear was baseless?
If distance couldn’t affect you
Why should it affect me?

So the eight time we met
I made a promise
That I’d keep our memories in my special box
To be opened when in need.

And the ninth time we met
I asked you for a promise
To remember me
As the one whose life you touched.

Remember me dear one
As the person you taught how to dance
Reintroducing me to myself
As someone capable of loving, and moving beyond fear.

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Written as part of AtoZ. For more, check the Theme Reveal 2020 – 26 Letters of Love.