tales of Suchita

You were the king
I was the knight
You were the big one
I the small
And we were happy.

You taught me love,
You taught me peace,
You were my safety net,
The one person who was mine.

One day you were gone
A light diminished
My world shattered
And I didn’t even see the broken pieces.

Many years later
You made your first appearance.
You were the lost child and I the adult but still
It felt I was home, I was safe.

I did not see though
The anger, hurt and betrayal
I was carrying in me.
That took another few years.

Now I’m old, it’s my birthday
And I finally see
The fear, the terror that makes me run
From love and fulfilment.

How could I be so blind
As to not see
You were the reason
You were always the reason.

I thought
I don’t remember you much
And how I wish someone would tell me
How we were before.

I see now I didn’t need anyone but me.
Close my eyes and call on you
There you would be
Never gone, never far.

I love you
The one who I thought
Would save me so
I chose this life because of you.

Then you left for your
Time was up and you had to return.
And only now I see the carcass
Of what was left behind.

You say you left because
I needed to be king
And it wasn’t enough to be a knight
But I was happy to be a knight, as long as you were king.

But such things are beyond
Our control and I must
Accept it for what it is.
Our separate stories forever intertwined.

Now I have to be the king
And I don’t know how
This is my cross to bear
For better or worse.

---

You were my star
You were the angel
And I was proud to be
Your big one.

I’m sorry I had to leave
But life works the way it works
And neither you nor I
Have any control.

You lost yourself to grief
And your bubbly self to death
But that is done now, you need to come back
For your path lies towards light and fulfilment.

Now that you know
How much I loved and adored you
Now I can tell you
You’re stronger than you think.

You have it all wrong
My beloved
You were always supposed to be the king
And I was always to be your knight.

Now I address the child
Whose world I inadvertently shattered.
I am so sorry little one
But it was out of your control.

You are surrounded now
With beautiful people
You are filled now
With ambitious dreams.

Don’t stop yourself
Now is the time to begin.
And remember you will always have
Your knight on your shoulder.

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Written as part of AtoZ. For more, check the Theme Reveal 2020 – 26 Letters of Love.