I wrote an open letter to myself sometime in August 2017 which makes it exactly 6 years ago. I went through it and I cannot believe I called myself not wise. I mean, that letter was peak wisdom. What was 27-year-old Suchita even thinking, calling herself not wise!
But it was nice to read it now, at 33 and find that I have actually managed to work on most of the things I had charted for myself then.
So, I’m going to make my last half-marathon post a sort of time-travelling letter which maybe 6 years down the line I will read and have a similar positive response. Unless the world ends by then. In that scenario, 39-year-old Suchita, carry on. I hope all the dystopian movies, shows and books you consumed come in handy, if for no other reason than to make jokes like, “Well it worked for Katniss.”
Dear still-not-wiser Suchita,
Your anger is sacred. Don’t let anyone tell you to not get angry. Healthy expression of anger is absolutely vital.
Find a safe space where you can unwind and just be. Solitude is a gift. Cherish it.
Writing is going to kick your ass. You will have such a roller coaster journey with it that you will want to quit, every day. Spoiler alert, you won’t quit. Get the moaning out of the way so you can go back to writing.
You care very deeply. For the longest time, you will think this is a curse. It is not. It’s what makes you a whole person. Hurts can be managed. The numbness cannot. Feeling is good.
Find the joy in every day.
Take care of that little Suchita – the little spark inside you that is your north star. She is wiser than any of us. Pay attention to her.
Ask for help where you need. Lean on people where you need. You’re not alone.
As much as people exhaust you, you will find the good cookies who you can bear to spend your bandwidth on. Don’t question why they’re with you. And yes, they do love you, even when your mind tells you maybe they don’t.
Most importantly, it’s okay to not know anything. Let the nothingness mean that you crack yourself open to let the light in, ideas in and help in. You’ll find your footing, I promise.
If you’re still managing to feel all your feels, if you’re still reading romance and fantasy and being your sarcastic, humorous self, congratulations, you have won life.
You are enough. You don’t need to prove anything to yourself.
And one last thing – I love you. You’re awesome. Your sister sends love and hugs too. And I’m sending cake and nariyal ki barfi because you’re in an apocalypse and clearly, you’ll need them.
Your older slightly-now-wiser Suchita.
This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2023
tales of Suchita 
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