tales of Suchita

These days, everything you do is a work of art and being a house guest is nothing short of being the highest form. In my twenty-seven years of existence, I have had the privilege of being a guest in a number of households. While I cannot say definitively that I was a good guest, I can most certainly tell you how to be a perfect one.

I guarantee if you follow these pointers, you will get the next Nobel House Guest Prize and then, you can proudly display that tag on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. I will even put in a free ‘I would like to thank…’ speech and viola you will have unlocked an important achievement.

Step 1 Greetings Ahoy! Always remember to greet your host warmly and innocently so they are given no forewarning on just how WONDERFUL a person has just graced them with their presence.

Step 2 Share Tea – Lull them into a false sense of security by complimenting everything and oohing over all the sacrifices they have made to ensure your comfort. How can you possibly be EVIL if you have just shared a cup of tea with the host?

Step 3 Lock yourself in the room – Now this is an important step. Remember you are the guest and they are puny hosts. So lock yourself inside the room and don’t leave unless you are going out. You don’t have to interact with these boring-ass people.

Step 4 Me me me – Now that they have gotten a hint of just how AMAZING you are, demand that all your meals be served to you in your room at a time when it is convenient to you. Don’t share your plans with them so they have to pause their entire day for Your Excellence to show up. After all, the hosts exist to serve you and thus are duty-bound to fulfill your every whim.

Step 5 Shock and awe – To really hit the nail on the head so the hosts begin to understand your true MAGNANIMITY, showcase your disappointment and shock when you realize that they have to do extra work because of you.

Hey they are the ones who invited you! They should have known better.

Step 6 Goodbyes – Don’t be too friendly when you are waving your goodbyes. You haven’t bothered in the past two-three days, why should you change that now?

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Starting September, I will be trying to commit more to my blog by following an editorial calendar. This is a part of Blogchatter’s challenge – #MyFriendAlexa – to better your blog’s Alexa Rank by the end of the month by #BetterBlogging.