While watching the season 2 of The Crown, there is a scene where Margaret, the queen’s sister, goes to a photographer who proclaims he can find the inner you, the hidden you, the you that even you don’t know exists behind all the layers of masks (the curtain behind the curtain as the-character-whose-name-I-can’t-remember from Stranger Things 2 said) and this is why he loves taking portraits of people.
Margaret is obviously drawn to this concept and after breaking through her frigid and rigid barriers of being the queen’s sister and thus always playing second fiddle to her, the photographer is able to capture ‘who’ Margaret is – or so he and she claim.
That obviously led me to want to find a photographer of my own who could define for me, who I am. It is interesting how you always seek outside help to define yourself when all you need is to perhaps ask yourself this question.
So I did, while in a cab, during a long commute. I asked myself, who am I? Here are some of the responses my brain conjured.
*nervous laughter*
*I don’t know*
*I am a girl*
*Why are we even doing this*
*I am a writer*
*I am someone who…*
But before I could really get into the last thought, my destination arrived, I paid for my ride and was successfully diverted from my quest of understanding who I am by hunger and the need to stuff my lunch down my throat as soon as was humanly safe.
After lunch and body-bending yoga and The Crown and everything else that could possibly distract me had distracted me, it was 12 am and I still didn’t know what to write for today’s blog. My prompt for today is ‘one day it all made sense.’ But now I question, will it ever make sense? And what will you do after it has made sense?
They say (and by they I mean the authors I have read because books and stories are the only source of wisdom) your true name has a power and the one who knows your name has a power over you. So maybe the sense of who I am lies in the meaning behind my name: someone with a good heart.
I don’t know if I am that or not but it definitely gives me a direction to work in. And who knows, maybe one day it will indeed make sense…
I tried to think of a good way of rounding up the post but the three ellipses (…) seemed like the most appropriate way to finish this post. If you are moved to ask yourself the same question, do comment and tell me what answers your brain conjures.
For December, I will be writing stories based on prompts I have gotten from friends, family, friends of friends and some generous people on Twitter. Thank you Vishakha for this prompt.
tales of Suchita 
Leave a comment