tales of Suchita

Let me start with my credentials. I have been working from home for the past 3 and a half years. The one question I always get asked a lot is – don’t you miss interacting with people. To this I mostly respond with a flippant I don’t like people so I don’t miss talking to them. But now that offices are being forced to give WFH to its people and have it actually mean WFH and not Netflix and chill, I am here to offer my humble service of what you can do to stay sane as you self-quarantine. 

PS: If you’re looking for some legit info on COVID-19, I’d highly recommend this TedTalk by Alanna Shaikh.

Moving to effectiveness. Here are my two bits:

Learn to love your company

It is highly possible that you are unable to work, or do anything, other than lounge on your sofa because you HATE your own guts. What better time than now, when you’re forced into the company of your biggest foe/friend i.e. yourself, to work on your self-relationship? This can be you embodying one of literature’s favourite tropes: enemies to lovers!

Masturbate

Well nature, after all the trauma we have put Her through, is literally telling us to go fuck ourselves by releasing COVID-19 which, as Alanna Shaikh says, will get worse before getting better. For once, let’s listen to nature and fuck ourselves, eh?

You need to work bruh

It’s magical I know but having to self-regulate and self-discipline is all it takes to work from home. That’s our honest-to-god, trumpets-going-off-in-the-background secret. You have work, you sit your ass down on your bed, or chair or floor and get it done. If that doesn’t work, think of how your manager would motivate you – threats, treats, pleadings, time off – and use it on yourself. Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

Read

Nuh, uh, I am not going to tell you to Netflix because you will do that in any case. If you’re someone who has looked at a reader/writer enviously and said lamentably, I wish I had time to read…well…oh boy do I have news for you. DO. IT. NOW. Pick up a book and read. It’s that simple.

Take an e-course

edX is my most favourite website on this planet. It has the most amazing e-courses ranging from Strategic Management to decoding Dante’s Divine Comedy (both of which I have taken). Study – do something constructive for once in your life.

Change of scene

If you get bored of your bedroom, sit in the drawing room. Or sit on the floor. Maybe use the dining table which is otherwise filled with half-eaten packets of food. Otherwise, hey, here’s a thought, organize your cupboard!

Wash your hands

Take a break from reading this post and go wash your hands. And as Alanna Shaikh said, sanitize your phones. Go on, I’ll wait.

take a stroll in the house

How on earth do you get 10k steps on your fitness band? By taking breaks and walking around the house. That will not only kill boredom, but provide some relief to your bum, neck and shoulders and reacquaint you with your house. Is that a window? Is that what the sun looks like at noon? Is that…fresh air? OMG can I really just open the fridge and eat whatever I want?

Bonus: For people who need human interactions

I am not the expert here (clearly) but let me give it a shot:

1. Go down in your building and take a stroll. Maybe talk to the security guards?
2. Call up your friends – do a video chat – or just WhatsApp if your friends are more of the introverted variety.
3. Talk to all the Ads/Promotions callers. Yes, I am definitely interested in this Bharti AXA life insurance, tell me more.
4. Build a computer so you can do Om. Om. Om. Om. and call Jaadu. Maybe he can help us defeat COVID-19!
5. Go back to point 1.
6. Talk to yourself in the mirror.
7. Get into a debate with someone who forwards Cow Dung and Cow Urine as ways of beating COVID-19 on WhatsApp. This will cure you of your need for human interactions for the foreseeable future.

Stay safe, wash your hands, and for god’s sake don’t spread fake news. Janhit mein jaari.