tales of Suchita

I am angry at you

I am angry at you
So very angry.
When did my life start revolving around you?
When did your happiness start to matter more than mine?
Why can’t I seem to breathe till I catch a glimpse of you?
Why does the world feel cold when you’re not around?
Why must I suffer so?
Why must you torture me so?

I am angry at you
So very angry.
You give me courage – but why must I depend on it?
You give me strength – but why must I rely on yours?
You are magic – but why must I need yours?
Why must love make me weak
And you so very strong?
Why does it have to be so hard?

I wish I wasn’t so angry at you
So very angry.
Then the way you make me feel would be easier to bear
This love would not feel like a vice against my throat.
But I must protect myself
From the inevitable loss
When you will tire of me and leave
And I will have no one but me.

Written as part of AtoZ. For more, check the Theme Reveal 2020 – 26 Letters of Love.

Suchita
, , , ,

67 responses to “I am angry at you”

  1. Tina Sequeira Avatar
    Tina Sequeira

    Ah lovely, Suchita! I enjoyed this poem …the tension and complications of love and its vulnerability.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks Tina.

      Like

      Reply
  2. Gee Avatar
    Gee

    Beautiful poem. Of angst and emotions. A journey within.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks Gayatri!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Gleefulblogger Avatar
    Gleefulblogger

    I am not much of a poetry person, but these lines bring a smile. Love poetry is new to me, and I already liking it.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      I have only recently become a poetry person. Thanks Dipika.

      Like

      Reply
  4. Wizardencil Avatar
    Wizardencil

    What a beautiful start to the challenge… Loved reading it ❤️

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks Sreeparna!

      Like

      Reply
  5. Ravish Mani Avatar
    Ravish Mani

    Love will lose all its charm when we get the answers of these WHYs. All this attraction is because of the mystery around it.

    The last two lines beautifully tell how love leads one to enlightenment through the help of a lover.

    “I’ll have no one but me,” as in the case of Aham Bhramasmi. Lover acts as a catalyst by bringing transformation without being involved in the final product – Evolved Person. No doubt, in Sufism, Love equals God & Master equals Lover.

    Great start, Suchita. Looking forward to your next take on love. 🙂

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      An interesting perspective of master, student and mystery. I do like the notion that anything worth knowing is shrouded in mystery and thus unknowable. Thanks Ravish.

      Like

      Reply
  6. Prakash Hegade Avatar
    Prakash Hegade

    Captures anger with love! Good one. 🙂

    P.S. It’s my fourth year too and my second year theme was love emotions A to Z. 🙂

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Congratulations on completing 3 years with AtoZ! And thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Prakash Hegade Avatar
        Prakash Hegade

        Thank you. 🙂

        Like

  7. romagptasinha Avatar
    romagptasinha

    True love has this side to it buddy, loved the weave, will stay glued to your series

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks Roma 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  8. Christopher DSouza Avatar
    Christopher DSouza

    I had not seen Suchita the Poet so far. So pleased to see yet another feather in your illustrious cap.

    Love so many times is a conflict of emotions, no?

    Beautifully written. Great start to the A to Z Challenge 2020.

    Cheers,
    CRD

    My theme for this year’s Challenge is “Idiosyncrasies of a Covidiot”
    http://scriptedinsanity.blogspot.com/

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Haha Suchita the poet – has a nice ring to it. I think I whined so much about not being able to write poetry that the poetry gods decided to have mercy on me. Thanks Christopher.

      Like

      Reply
  9. Pratibha {Pratsmusings} (@Myepica) Avatar
    Pratibha {Pratsmusings} (@Myepica)

    Anything that you are not good at? Poetry also??

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Oh wow that made me laugh! You are so so kind Pratibha. Thank you.

      Like

      Reply
  10. Balaka Avatar
    Balaka

    Poignant!! Loved it and could relate to it. Especially the last stanza.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      So glad that this turned out relatable to so many people, thanks Balaka.

      Like

      Reply
  11. DiaryOfAnInsaneWriter Avatar
    DiaryOfAnInsaneWriter

    This poem brought back so many memories…such a beautiful and soul-stirring piece…if I were the girl narrating this, my anger would melt if he would just hold me reassuringly. Keep writing, Suchita, I am eagerly looking forward to walking this journey with you.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks Mayura for your very kind words!

      Like

      Reply
  12. jaya1966 Avatar
    jaya1966

    Love for a person does make a person dependent and that in a way is weakening. But if the person does not leave then it is heaven on earth.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      That’s the beauty of love. No matter how much we try, no one can really understand it. We can only appreciate it.

      Like

      Reply
  13. Sonia Chatterjee Avatar
    Sonia Chatterjee

    This was a pleasant surprise to see you experiment with poetry. The conflict of emotions is well expressed by your words. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks Sonia. I am on an experiment spree these days 😀

      Like

      Reply
  14. Anagha Yatin Avatar
    Anagha Yatin

    Commitment or lack of it forces one to build walls and thus refrain self from enjyoing the bliss of being in love. And why shouldn’t it be for being safe is better than being sorry.
    Good one Suchita.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      The key is always to find balance, no? Thanks Anagha.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  15. simritbedi Avatar
    simritbedi

    Wow! What a wonderful heartwarming poem.. each line is filled with so much emotion.. looking forward to reading all your posts Suchita ♥️

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Poetry does have that quality – of getting to the heart of the matter. Thanks Simrit.

      Like

      Reply
  16. subzeroricha Avatar
    subzeroricha

    Suchita Agarwal! What a beautiful poem! Yeh pyaar kaafi heavy maloom padta hai. Isliye non existent hoga 😛

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      LOL. Pyaar hua nahin hai kabhi but feelings bahut hai uss par. Wahi explore kiya jayega iss mahine.

      Like

      Reply
  17. Dashy Avatar
    Dashy

    Ah, the dilemma of how much one must be dependent on love. Something I’ve also given a lot of thought into. Beautiful lines.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Where does one end and the other begin. Thanks Darshana.

      Like

      Reply
  18. Nisha Avatar
    Nisha

    Aah, love! I get these feelings too from time to time, but I believe in just taking the positive. You know, enjoy the moment and see what happens when it happens.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Being in the moment is an amazing quality to have Nisha! Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

      Reply
  19. matheikal Avatar
    matheikal

    That which does not liberate is not love. Poignant lines.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Poignant lines from you indeed. I do sometimes think we have too many expectations from this 4-letter word.

      Like

      Reply
  20. HappyMomLifestyle Avatar
    HappyMomLifestyle

    The pain is not going to stay forever. Time will heal it but not the lessons learnt.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Indeed. Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

      Reply
  21. Shalini Avatar
    Shalini

    Heartbreak, Loss, Anger and Self-assurance, all packed into one. Haven’t we all experienced this at least once in life? ❤

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Seems life and love’s journey have a lot in common, no?

      Like

      Reply
  22. Swarnali Nath Avatar
    Swarnali Nath

    What a lovely beginning of love series! Every emotions I could feel well. But loved the last line most. You know why! 😏 Suchita I will be back again here, to have some more love bites from you. 🙂🙂

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      You’re very kind Swarnali. Thanks much!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  23. Ranjini Avatar
    Ranjini

    Well, the pain cannot be put into words. And yet we love like fools! Because it’s the most beautiful feeling ever! Nice beginning 🙂

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      I think there is a legit reason why it’s called “fool in love.” Thanks Ranjini.

      Like

      Reply
  24. soniadogra Avatar
    soniadogra

    Ah! The irony that love is. I want it and I don’t want it. And it will always stay this way!

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      So true Sonia. That’s the one universal emotion attached to love, isn’t it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  25. Tina Basu Avatar
    Tina Basu

    Love can be such a conflict and contradictory. You write beautiful lines Suchita.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      The conflict I think is what makes it such an essential topic for writers. Thanks Tina.

      Like

      Reply
  26. nooranandchawla Avatar
    nooranandchawla

    An interesting beginning to your romantic fiction. Look forward to more!

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks Noor!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  27. anecdotesofmylife Avatar
    anecdotesofmylife

    When you will tire of me and leave
    And I will have no one but me…..this hurt! He just disappeared and left me .
    Touching words that felt as if I wrote them. Thanks, Suchita for reminding me not to make the same mistake again

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Ah thanks so much! The whole idea of trying to keep these poems gender neutral and in first person was to hope that others will find resonance in them. You just told me that my experiment worked. Yay!

      Like

      Reply
  28. Meena Avatar
    Meena

    Conflict of love! Ah! Beautifully written. Looking forward to all other posts.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks Meena.

      Like

      Reply
  29. alpanadeo Avatar
    alpanadeo

    Suchita, I remember your theme reveal post in which you said that you are not very good in love poetry. But reading this one, I am not sure..what your next move…You nailed it girl. What an expression and straight from heart.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      You’re very kind Alpana. I still think I am not good at the structure part of poetry writing. But thanks so much!

      Like

      Reply
  30. sundeepananthd Avatar
    sundeepananthd

    That is deep. It looks like it came straight from the heart. Lovely words and amazing write-up Suchita. Good luck.
    — rightpurchasing.com

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Thanks so much Sundeepan 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. sundeepananthd Avatar
        sundeepananthd

        It’s Sundeep. I never realised someone could see it like that also 😁😄
        Good day and happy A2Zing 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  31. Namratha Varadharajan Avatar
    Namratha Varadharajan

    Ha! One straight from the heart Suchita. I know how it seems like we are the more dependent one and you are constantly waiting for them to get up and walk away!

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      I have found poems do generally come out more straightforward than prose. Thanks Namratha.

      Like

      Reply
  32. Shweta Suresh Avatar
    Shweta Suresh

    Love can be such a conflict at times. Great start to the challenge.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Suchita Avatar
      Suchita

      Conflict is the right word. Thanks Shweta.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Shweta Suresh Avatar
        Shweta Suresh

        Pleasure is all mine. 🙂

        Like

Leave a reply to simritbedi Cancel reply