When Meera’s name was called out, she closed her eyes, breathing through her mouth, bracing herself for the news. Opening her eyes, she saw the smiling face of her math teacher and couldn’t fathom why Shagun ma’am looked happy.
“Well done,” she whispered as she handed the test paper to her student.
Seeing the score made little sense to Meera in the beginning. She would have assumed it was a prank had her teacher not whispered those words before handing the paper to her. Still disbelieving, she slid the paper in front of her friend, shrugging like the perfect score she had received, after two failed attempts was no big deal.
Aran looked at the score, his eyes going wide. He thumped her on the back so hard, she nearly face planted on the desk in front of her.
“Dude this is so cool!”
Her hands tangled in her lap, she said in a small voice, “You mean to say it’s real?”
“What? Of course it’s real! Here,” he said as he pinched her nose. “Satisfied?”
Meera giggled and took the paper back. The score, the well done, the tick marks, they were all real. Not only had she not failed, she had reached a place she had thought impossible.
As Shagun ma’am distributed the papers with a murmured well done, you can do better, or let’s work on this together, she kept a cursory glance at her success story. She couldn’t believe only two months ago, Meera had turned up in the staff room, tears running down her face, her paper clutched desperately in her hands, hiccupping that math made no sense to her.
Once the papers had been distributed and she had set her students some new problems to solve, she went back to observing Meera. What surprised her most was that the girl wasn’t jumping around, happily celebrating her success. First she thought maybe the girl’s friends hadn’t done as well so was being incongruously kind to them. But when she checked their scores, she realized all her friends had done well. Then why?
When the bell signalled the end of class, she said, “Meera, walk with me to the staff room please?”
Meera picked up the notebooks on her teacher’s desk and shuffled behind her. She settled them down on a table overflowing with notebooks and rolled her shoulders. How the teachers made sense of the mess she had no idea.
“Meera congratulations on the score.”
The girl started to giggle immediately. “Thank you, ma’am. It just clicked one day you know. I just got it. It was such an amazing feeling! I didn’t like failing at all.”
Shagun ma’am smiled. “I’m so glad. But please, keep working. This doesn’t mean you can stop you know.”
Meera shook her head. “Of course. And now I’m happy to work. Like I said, it just started to make sense. All the integers and x and y and age and man hours. Ha!”
Unable to hold back her curiosity, she blurted, “Why aren’t you celebrating then? If I were you I’d be jumping up and down with happiness.”
She noticed as soon as the smile left Meera’s face. So it wasn’t that Meera wasn’t happy. It was something else. What?
“Is everything alright at home Meera?”
“Whaaat? Yes of course. Why would you…”
Shagun ma’am raised her hands placatingly. “I didn’t mean anything by it. Just asking, is all. You worked hard. You got the results. I think you should be celebrating.”
Meera looked away, fingers twisting in front of her.
“What is it?” she asked gently.
“It’s not that I’m not happy. I am happy,” she said in a whisper, like it was a secret only for Shagun ma’ams ears. “But…”
She sat on her chair. Now she was almost at eye level with the girl. She smiled, trying to project safety and warmth to Meera whose fingers were still twisted in a way that looked painful.
She raised her hands so Meera could see them and stop her at any moment she felt it was too much. Shagun ma’am took her hands in her own and stopped them from twisting. She picked up a notebook and placed them in her hands, to stop her from hurting herself.
Meera looked at the notebook, shocked. She clutched it tight, then relaxed her fingers. “My parents think happiness is a curse and we shouldn’t be happy because God then slaps us and doesn’t let us be happy for long. I don’t know how…”
The girl looked up, tears in her eyes. She looked scared, like she had given away something that she wasn’t allowed to give.
“It’s alright Meera, it’s okay,” she said soothingly.
“You won’t tell them I said that?”
“Not at all.”
“Thank you ma’am.” She handed the notebook back to her teacher.
“Can I ask you something?” When she got a nod, she said, “What do you think?”
Alarmed, Meera looked at her teacher. “They have a point. I passed today but what if I fail in my next test?”
Shagun ma’am paused, finally understanding the girl’s dilemma. She deflated a little, grateful this wasn’t a worst-case scenario. “Will celebrating today affect your marks in the next test?”
She smiled ruefully. “No.”
“Then?”
Laughing, she said, “I guess I can give myself a break today and celebrate and get back to oranges and apples tomorrow?”
Shagun ma’am chuckled, her eyes shining. “Good girl.” Seeing the girl skip out of the staffroom, she felt like doing a mini dance herself.
Written as part of Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.
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tales of Suchita 
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