tales of Suchita

Don’t ask me why this post is called sway with me. Maybe because I needed something with the letter S and rebel without a cause or say hello to your inner-saboteur sound like “been there done that” type of titles. Sway with me sounds infinitely clever and fun.

What is shocking though is despite everything, the title is appropriate! Before we get there, let me rewind just a bit.

I am someone who gets bored of routine very quickly. I get bored of my breakfast, I get bored of planning my WIP so I begin it like a headless chicken. And then, after I have started writing it and I’m 20k words in, I have to make a hasty outline of what all details I have added so I don’t call it a couch in chapter 3 and a sofa in chapter 13. It’s bizarre how quickly I sabotage a good thing that I have.

I recently learnt that this kind of behaviour is a reaction to stress and our avoidance of anything that causes stress. Which makes infinite amount of sense.

Take the AtoZ for example. My enthusiasm for it lasts only three days. After that I cannot even be arsed to share my own posts on social media and then cry because I did not get any views or comments on it.

Take writing consistently as an example. I will be good, so good for about two weeks and then I will completely lose the plot. I will chafe at the boundary I have put on myself for my own good and like a child playing truant, I’ll not write for one night because I deserve the break thank you very much which expands into one week and me being back at my WIP wondering where my characters are and why they haven’t reached where they were supposed to reach. I mean, you can even expect Bombay traffic to move faster than an abandoned WIP. Sheesh!

I have tried so many ways to get myself to stop these gentle sabotages. But I cannot keep myself at anything for longer than two weeks. It’s like a dance…like I’m swaying to some music and in the beginning it is all well and good until I realize I have entered a fae world where there are only two rules – don’t partake in their food and don’t dance. Because once you eat the food, you won’t be able to leave and once you begin to dance, you won’t be able to stop.

The thing I have realized that makes these breaks so much easier to lean into is they are fun. Writing, unfortunately, is a chore and requires discipline. So doing anything that is not that is fun. Like listening to music. Or reading. Sometimes, reading too becomes a chore and for fun I…uh…look at my Kindle forlornly, not knowing what to do. It’s all very confusing.

What I have not figured out is if these little dances of start-stop-start are necessarily bad. Because I do “come back” to whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing like the good, responsible adult I’m supposed to be. 

Oh well, as long as I’m having fun, running truant from my own strict self, giggling because I know scolding myself is only going to make me roll my eyes, but also getting work done, I guess it’s all okay. One just has to find that right balance – when to sway one side and when to sway the other. When in doubt though, dancing has always helped.

What helps you to unwind?

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Connecting this post to #BlogchatterA2Z. To read other posts, check Theme Reveal 2022: Without Prearrangement.

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PS: If you like how I write and would like to read more, I have 2 ebooks on Kindle – both free if you’re on Kindle Unlimited. You can read more about the ebooks here.