tales of Suchita

I have been having a weird time finding the will to stick to writing. I have tried just about everything and I will start a writing project and inevitably, I will abandon it. I have told myself to give it a break, I have told myself maybe I’m not feeling it, I have tried going with the flow but the effing words just won’t come out. It’s like they’re stuck in my throat and chest and no matter what I do, they refuse to get dislodged.

The marathon was supposed to be my ticket to get back into the groove of writing. I thought the panic of publishing ten posts will kickstart my brain. It did not.

BUT!

I ain’t no quitter so today, because writing is being a bitch, I’m going to write about writing because if there’s one thing I love apart from writing, is talking about how hard writing actually is.

Today I will reveal to you my top secret formula of how I write fiction novels, when my stars are aligned and mercury isn’t in retrograde, of course.

Step 1: What an idea sirjee

An idea is like the universe. There is nothingness and then boom! Something sparks a big bang; time starts and there is expansion.

Corollary: it is entirely possible an idea leads you nowhere. Thankfully, the scientific big bang led you here, reading this post. When the idea fizzles out, put it in your ideas diary to admire it later.

Step 2: I see dead people

Once your universe has expanded, you need players in it. Comets and meteor showers are as important as the grass you walk on, the little bee on the flower and the running human because they did something wrong, obviously.

Corollary: I highly encourage you to use your loved ones as villains. They won’t be able to prove it’s them and you will at least get a chuckle out of it.

Step 3: Are we there yet?

See there is a reason the universe took 500 bajillion years to evolve human beings. It’s because there was no one in charge and no one knew where anyone was going. Even god must have been like why the hell did I decide that the GPS will be invented in the 1970s?

Point being, don’t forget while birthing your universe that you, in fact, are in charge.

Corollary: finding your plot will be as difficult as finding your will to keep writing. Keep going. You will reach somewhere even if its an entirely different galaxy.

Step 4: Are all your ducks in a row?

Now that you have all the ingredients to make a gourmet sandwich, you start your assembly. Be prepared to have dreams about missing an exam, or showing up for one wholly unprepared.

Corollary: be also prepared that your sandwich may turn into a pasta, with ingredients you didn’t start with, raw materials that just strolled onto your paper and a final dish that resembles neither a sandwich nor a pasta.

Step 5: Get distracted by social media

I wonder how much longer it would have taken god to make the universe if social media had existed? Can you imagine focussing on creating earth, the delicate balance where life could thrive when “Makeba” plays on a loop in your head?

Corollary: switch off your phone or put it on airplane mode before you begin (jokes on you because I have internet access on my laptop).

BONUS!

Step 6: Read a book

Read a book and forget about the dream of becoming a writer. Reading will give you more joy than writing ever can.

Corollary: good reading will inspire you to open your laptop and write. Don’t fall in that trap. I repeat, don’t fall in the trap.

Congratulations – you have now graduated from writing school. Welcome to hell. At least Lucifer is hot and you have a fair chance of running into some interesting people who can be used in your stories. What fun!

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This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2023 

Header Photo by Aldebaran S on Unsplash