tales of Suchita

The Christmas tree in front of them looked like a disaster. There were pine needles at its bottom, on the sofa and coffee table, and Shilpa spied some near the front door as well. It was a tiny little tree, no more than two feet, and yet it had shed so many needles. Clean up would be an even bigger disaster she thought with a pout.

“Does it look bald to you?”

Shilpa snorted at Nalini’s question. The two of them were standing in front of their shedding, bald tree, hands crossed across their chests, with expressions like they were trying to solve the mystery of the universe. Nalini was in her standard jeans and shirt – an attire Shilpa adored. It made her look capable and Shilpa apparently had a thing for capable people, who knew?

It had been two weeks since they had moved in together in their dream home with a sea view. It had been two months since they had become…partners. Shilpa was still wrapping her head around it. The mixed reactions from their friends and her colleagues hadn’t helped. Their friends were mostly happy, some even claiming they had known from the beginning she and Nalini would end up together. Her colleagues were…mainly confused. Nalini had told her to ignore them but it had been difficult when they had echoed some of her own misgivings back to her.

She shook herself. These were not things she wanted to think about right now. They had a million things to do before the house warming slash pre-Christmas slash warm-up New Year party they were hosting tonight.

“I think if we dress it up it’ll look less bald.”

Nalini clapped her hands in excitement. “I have always wanted to decorate a Christmas tree with you. Yours used to always look so fancy and right out of a Hallmark movie it intimidated me into not putting one up in my house. And now,” she turned to Shilpa and wrapped her hands around her waist, “I can see the master at work.”

Shilpa blushed but she leaned into Nalini. Even though they had known each other for close to three decades, there were things they were discovering about each other. This thing between them while as effortless as their friendship also had undercurrents of awkwardness, like the first rush of love. It both amused and frustrated her. Because sometimes it felt like she was the only one going through these emotions. Nalini seemed settled in a way she didn’t.

“Come on, if we have to make this tree look like a Hallmark movie, we need to begin immediately.”

*

The lights were dim in the living room, the smell of hot toddy was in the air and Shilpa had managed to salvage the bald tree by simply turning the side to face the corner where it wouldn’t be visible.

Three of their friends were setting the table with Christmas cake, grilled chicken, mashed potatoes and sauteed vegetables. Two of them were setting up a Monopoly board on their coffee table. She knew she’d find Nalini and Tushar in the kitchen, adding more whiskey to the hot toddy.

It was a happy, joyful scene but Shilpa couldn’t help feeling hot around her collar. When their friends had entered the house, was it curiosity or judgment she had seen in their eyes? When they had asked for a tour, was it awe or jealousy she had felt emanating from them?

She didn’t like the spiral her brain was going in and seeing as everyone was busy, she went to her…their…room to hide for a moment, just to catch her breath.

When the door opened after what felt like seconds until she had escaped, she was relieved and disappointed to see Nalini.

“Why are you hiding?”

Feeling guilty, she said, “I’m not hiding. I just needed to…it’s just…”

Nalini closed the door and stepped inside. She wanted to go to Shilpa but she looked so closed off, she didn’t dare. So, she sat opposite her, on the bed. “What’s really going on?”

Shilpa’s face crumbled. “I love you and I am happy, but sometimes it feels like you’re the only one enjoying while I am…” she sighed. “Like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Nalini pursed her lips, not sure what to say. She studied Shilpa’s slumped shoulders, dejected eyes and felt a pang in her chest. “Should I…would you uh prefer if everyone left? We could uh give you some sp…?

Shilpa rolled her eyes so hard she was afraid they’d pop out. She got up, sat down next to Nalini and put her head on her shoulder. “For the love of all that is holy do not give me space.”

Nalini chuckled. “I think I understand. All this feels too good to be true. Like we didn’t have to fight for it enough so it doesn’t feel…earned?”

Shilpa’s lips quirked to one side. “This whole thing with you is old and new and I was expecting it to feel old but not new. You know?”

Nalini laughed but did not disagree. She shifted the shoulder Shilpa was resting on. Shilpa straightened so she could see Shilpa’s face. “Okay, if you don’t need space what do you need? And you can’t say me because you already have me.”

Suddenly, with that one statement, Nalini had put her overthinking in perspective. “You,” she said planting a kiss on Nalini’s lips, “are the best. That is all I need, isn’t it? Everything else will sort itself out. Let’s go, we have to defeat everyone at Monopoly.”

It was Nalini’s turn to roll her eyes. Shilpa could be nightmarishly competitive.

Once Shilpa had settled in her spot that she claimed was lucky for her, the game began. And if the whole time she was singing “Christmas tree, my Christmas tree, lit up like a star” while looking at Nalini, well…no one needed to know.

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This is a sequel to a story I had written in April. Though these can be read independently, you can read part one here.

This post is a part of Jingle Bell Blog Hop hosted by Sukaina Majeed and Manali Desai.