Ek Rishtaa 

It was done. Chanderi had told him what had been troubling her since the time she had stepped foot inside the haveli. The tears on his face had made ugly guilt raise its head inside her but it had been the right call. It would be hell, breaking the news to their loved ones and she could already anticipate the rigours she would be put through. But it was the right call. It was.

Chiranjeev could feel the weight of her on his left side. He wanted to push her away, pull her closer and run away from the room. Wiping away his tears, he took a deep breath. Once his need to bawl his eyes out had somewhat calmed, he said, “Is there anything I can say that will change your mind?”

Even though there were black and beige streaks on her cheeks, she looked beautiful to him. He wanted to bury himself somewhere so no one could hear his heart shattering into fine glass dust.

“Please know I’m not doing this to hurt you. I would never do that. I…I can’t…it’s difficult to explain. I just know that if we go ahead with this, we will regret it.”

He closed his eyes, a few more tears leaking onto his cheeks. He wiped them away again, wondering if he’d ever be able to find all his parts. He took another breath trying to dislodge the tightness in his throat. “What do you want to do next?”

The thought of telling everyone almost made going through with marrying Chiranjeev worth it but she owed it to herself to see this through. Just like the decision to marry Chiranjeev had been hers and hers alone, she wouldn’t let anyone else take the responsibility of breaking up the nuptials. She was doing this for herself and she would find her courage, even if the embarrassment of it killed her.

“I need to tell my parents first. I’ll talk to yours too. Make them understand it’s my decision. You can…”

Chiranjeev shook his head. His parents hadn’t been the happiest at the prospect of their son marrying a divorcee. This was his first marriage and he could only imagine the vitriol that may be spewed once the news travelled. He wouldn’t want to subject her to that.

“I’ll speak to mine. You speak to yours. Then we can decide what to do next.”

“Next, what do you mean next?”

He started at the fear in her voice. He hurried to reassure her. “I just meant the haveli, expenses, sending everyone back, food, logistics, announcements…we’ll need to figure that out.”

Chanderi put her face in her hands; she hadn’t thought of that. She had been so concerned about everyone’s reaction, how disappointed her parents would be that she hadn’t thought of the practicalities of the break up. She started to breathe harder, panic gripping her.

“Okay,” she said to herself, trying to cut through the fog of the panic. “I think…” She nodded to herself several times. It was almost as if Chiranjeev wasn’t sitting there next to her. “One step at a time. I’ll…I’ll go talk to my parents.” If she didn’t tell them now, she would lose her nerve. “Yes. I’ll do that.”

She got up from the floor and without looking at him, left the room.

*

She found her mother looking everywhere for her. Mrs. Chudasma dragged Chanderi into the powder room specially equipped for the bridal party and pushed her. She was unprepared and her shoulder banged into a wall.

“Ow, mamma what are you…”

Her mother clutched her hands, squeezing tightly. “What were you doing alone with Chiranjeev inside a room? Haven’t I told you that you need to be careful about these things?”

She rolled her eyes but did not address her mother’s concerns. Now that they were alone, her words spilled, like they needed to be outside rather than inside.

“Mamma, I am not going to marry Chiranjeev.”

When she heard no reaction, she looked at her mother’s face and saw blankness cover her from head to toe.

As if in a daze, Mrs. Chudasma said, “Okay beta, whatever you say. Now tell…”

Chanderi pulled her hands out of her mother’s and said steadily, “No, no. I’m not joking. I am not marrying him. That is what we were talking about. I…this wedding is not happening.”

Her mother swayed on her feet and alarmed, Chanderi caught hold of her shoulders and put her on one of the sofas. She went on her knees and looked up at her mother’s stricken face.

Her mother gulped a few times and with tears shimmering in her eyes, asked, “Why would you say something like that? Did I do something wrong?”

“I’m so sorry mamma,” she whispered as her mother dissolved into sobs.

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Chapter 5 of 26 of the ongoing series Chanderi. You can read all posts here. Written as part of #BlogchatterA2Z.