Kilney has been so busy with Ramshackle and trying to untangle what Gimble did, he has been neglecting his peers. They ambush him one Thursday afternoon, just as he’s dictating a brief to his intern who is so focussed behind her red-rimmed glasses that he feels bad when three people enter his office, blowing party horns.
She jerks at the noise and just about manages to grab the laptop before it slips to the floor. She’s dressed professionally, white shirt and grey checked trousers but one of the three men still gives her a once over. It makes Kilney uncomfortable so he clears his throat to get her attention and then dismisses her.
“Killy,” they chorus together. They wince at how loud that turns out but then begin laughing.
“Are you drunk in the middle of a work day or are you just jerks?”
One of them, his name is Nalin, steps forward. He’s wearing the almost exact replica of what his intern was wearing but his top two buttons are open and there is a thin silver chain peeking out.
He says, “Oh stop being such a grouch! We haven’t gone out in ages. Let’s do something together.”
Kilney knows he cannot argue against the plan so reluctantly agrees to a Friday night pub crawl. He’s reminded of the Dragon but he does not even think of taking them there. That is a sacred place and he doesn’t want to sully it with their presence.
He’s down two pints but he isn’t even feeling a buzz. Nalin and company are screaming at each other’s faces but the difference between his night with Ramshackle and the night he’s currently having is so stark, he’s feeling morose.
He could swear a six months ago when he was with Gimble and everything was happy, he would have been enjoying and screaming in Nalin’s face. He would have been the one to suggest they do shots and he would have been the first one to claim they had spent enough time in a pub and it was time to move on to the next. But he’s just not feeling their energy.
When he cannot take it anymore, he pretends he has got an urgent summons from Lunar and leaves to much cries of disappointment. He walks out, hands inside his jeans pockets. He is on his way to the apartment when the excuse catches up with him and he decides he needs to hear their voice. To his relief, they answer after three rings.
“Can I ask a question? But you have to promise you will answer first and ask questions later.” At their assent, he asks, “If you had to describe me, how would you?”
Lunar laughs. “You are a lawyer and you’re driven. You care about your image and you work hard to maintain it. But you’re also Cherry, the person I occasionally get drunk with and I know will be there if I call him at 1 in the morning.”
Kilney smiles as Lunar finishes describing him. He had not been expecting much but what they said makes him feel warm. He isn’t as bad as he has been painting himself to be. Yes, he has his flaws but so does every person. Then he remembers why he had asked the question.
“Have I always been like this? I feel like…while Gimby and I were together, we weren’t very good to or for each other. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore. I was out with colleagues and I felt so out of touch with them.”
He hears a sigh and waits with bated breath for Lunar to explain.
“You have always had many faces, Cherry. Different ones. You would change them, like clothes, before. But something has shifted because now, it’s like you cannot be bothered with them. Maybe that’s why it feels like you don’t know yourself.”
Kilney is pretty sure he had been walking towards his apartment. He is also sure his apartment is not anywhere near Ramshackle’s house. Yet, once again, his feet have carried him here.
I wonder if Gimby felt the same way when she read her diary entry, Kilney thinks looking at the house’s facade. She had wanted to find herself and so went to Ramshackle. Which makes sense because isn’t he doing the same thing?
“Cherry, you there?”
Kilney jolts. “Lunar I love you. I know I don’t say it enough times but I do.”
“You sound…okay.”
“I am okay. You helped. Thank you.”
There is a pause before Lunar asks in a rush, “You aren’t going to sign a contract with that dude, are you?”
Kilney smiles. “No. I won’t need his services, not like that.”
He hangs up after making brunch plans for the next day. He knows he should probably come back tomorrow because he’s mentally exhausted. But he cannot help himself so he knocks on the door and is almost immediately ushered in.
19 of 26 of an ongoing series The Dream Maker. You can read all posts here. Written as part of #BlogchatterA2Z.
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tales of Suchita 
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