Ramshackle’s request is so bizarre that Kilney is unable to respond to him immediately. His first reaction is to run so far away that no one can find him. Certainly, not an entity that is made of unfulfilled human potential. His second reaction is to think of how he would look in the suits, even the burgundy one, and how he would do things differently.
His third reaction is a bottomless pit of loneliness that he knows he will be subject to if he takes Ramshackle’s offer. For Ramshackle, who has only ever lived in the house, loneliness is a concept. For Kilney, who has known life only outside the house, it could be soul-crushing.
It is the second reaction he keeps going back to, however. The idea that he, Ruidan Kilney, will be in charge of something this great, that he can change his appearance at will, that he can travel wherever and whenever he wills, the potential seems endless.
“Since you haven’t said an outright no, I suppose you’re willing to consider it?”
Kilney startles. He says by and by, “I am willing to consider it, yes.”
Ramshackle claps his hands, in a rare show of emotion. He says, “Excellent. I shall leave you to weigh your options. If you have questions, just summon me and I shall appear.”
Kilney expects Ramshackle to melt into the surrounding air but he does nothing that dramatic. He walks out a door and Kilney returns to his room. The bed has been made he notices and there is a change of clothes.
The room looks like a blank canvas. It has basic furniture, like a chair, bed, mirror and a comb but other than that it is bare. The walls are a nondescript colour and lacks personality.
This is what I’ll become if I take Ramshackle’s offer, he thinks. Barely there, no personality, until some human comes to me with a problem they cannot solve.
It’s a little more than that.
Kilney jumps and circles the room, half expecting Ramshackle to appear out of thin air.
It’s us. The house.
He sighs in relief. He sits on the bed and looks around. “What are you house?”
We’re not exactly a house. We’re a being, much like Ramshackle.
“And what is it that you do for Ramshackle?”
Kilney’s curiosity is like a living animal and he has to pinch himself to keep his excitement in check.
The first Ramshackle, when it was born, did not have any support. It had to learn everything from scratch. The world wasn’t kind to it and it needed a safe place to belong. It created us and gave us sentience so we could be its companion.
That explains why Ramshackle had said Kilney would be the third. “What happened?”
It used all its magic to give us breath. It faded soon after we woke. Because we didn’t have it as a tether, we started to fade too. Ramshackle the second saved us. And we saved it.
Kilney doesn’t ask more questions. The conversation has left him feeling untethered himself. The problem is that he wants to do this, but he also doesn’t want to.
He wants to make the deal because all his life, he has wanted to be a hero. He has had this conviction that he can fix things, and yes even people, if given half the chance. It’s one of the reasons he became a divorce lawyer. Whether the couple patched up after a meeting with him or decided to go their separate ways, he had saved them either way. That saving couples paid well was just the icing on the cake.
Taking Ramshackle’s place means he’ll literally be saving humanity. He’ll be important. Some will flock to him and some will be afraid. But no one will be indifferent to his presence. Since Gimble left him, he has been drifting. The things that used to give him joy, no longer give him anything. His future is in tatters and right now, looks like a giant ball of nothingness.
He doesn’t want to take the deal because of the third reaction. The inherent loneliness of being immortal. Will he be able to bear it if Lunar turns old and dies while he stays the same?
And he may be drifting but he is also looking for himself. Ramshackle has put him on the path of befriending his masks and the veneer of self-righteousness has cracked. Does he really want to not complete that process before jumping into something this vast?
What can he do? What should he do?
21 of 26 of an ongoing series The Dream Maker. You can read all posts here. Written as part of #BlogchatterA2Z.
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tales of Suchita 
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