2026 AtoZ started as me wanting to write 26 posts to commemorate my grandmothers who were great writers themselves but I don’t have what they wrote. I got to 11 stories and poems before realizing I would have to pivot into writing the rest as and when they came to me.
This was a new way of doing the challenge and I’m still not sure if I enjoyed it or if it was just stressful.
A friend said, the decision I am taking right now, I want it to be valid for the next 10 years. I immediately said, you cannot do this and she said, Suchita, the decision you took has been going strong for the past 10 years.
That got me thinking. Does it take 10 years for things to evolve and change? Or is it a coincidence that my 10-year mark is coming and I am thinking about changes?
But she isn’t wrong. If I am thinking of overhauling my life, shouldn’t it be on something I can see myself working on for the long-term and not just as a short-term project?
Saw a movie recently called Matthias and Maxime. Still thinking about it so many days later. The way it showed male friendships. How it established through the expedience of a two days spent together that they’re childhood friends. The falling apart and the coming together.
Some of the framing choices – seeing two friends washing utensils through a small window while the rest of the screen is black. How Matt makes choices – blue shirt, red shirt, pink shirt, denim jacket – to assert his sexuality and masculinity. The ache of missing your best friend.
It is so difficult to accept compliments, especially for my writing. They don’t even make a dent in my internal pond. Like not even a ripple. Someone said All Roads Lead Here is gentle, emotional and intelligent. I…don’t know what to do with this.
Have been seeing so much trolling and discourse on Heated Rivalry: the show, the author, the director and who did it “better.”
It makes me think about what art is actually for.
I think art an invitation to participate. Whether it’s the person creating or the consumer that participates through their lens – neither owes anyone anything.
It’s this sense of ownership that makes people believe that their viewpoint is the only one that matters, that is “right.” When participation becomes so dictatorial, it ceases to be a participation at all.
Thinking of this quote by Anatole France:
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
In 2026 I have been saying a lot of hard goodbyes. This quote and my diary knows something about that.
Saw this Carl Jung quote that says (paraphrased) loneliness is not about people or places but about not being able to express what you’re feeling.
On some days, when my brain feels really loud, I ask myself: what’s happening? Tell me. I want to listen to you.
There is always this pause before I start speaking. As if I was waiting for someone to ask me, how are you doing so I could answer truthfully.
Bachpan tha mera
Phoolo aur roshni se bhara
Khet the pitaji ke
Jisme fasal hawa ke sang
Geet gaati, aur nachti
Jaise bayan kar rahi ho
Apni khushi, ki dekho, dekho
Mein zinda hoon.
For Letter Z, written as part of #BlogchatterA2Z
tales of Suchita 
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