Everything but mine

I remember the day I first saw you
I was nine and you were timeless
Your beauty blinded me
Your fragrance filled my heart
And as you passed me by
Your eyes rested on my face
For just a moment
But that moment was enough
As I fell in love with you.

I wrote sonnets for you, my love
You, my guardian angel
Whose beauty was incomparable
Whose grace would be my salvation.
I wrote couplets for you, my love
Painting other women as you
No, not because I loved you less
But to protect your innocence
And deflect the judgment of others.

We met at a party next,
You did not notice me
But I saw you surrounded by your ladies
Made lovelier by being in your presence
Oh I would give up immortality
To be a part of your retinue.
I waited, hoping youโ€™d look my way
If only for another chance
To look upon your beauty.

You did not look my way
And I was shattered.
Did you not know
How much I loved you?
How could you though
When none of my poems
Or letters made it to you?
So I appealed to the Goddess of Love
To help my message reach you.

That night the Goddess visited me.
In my dream, you were draped in
Your ethereal beauty
And me, a graceless cow
Bowed in front of you
As we did a merry dance.
I asked why you werenโ€™t mine
And you, or the Goddess, through you
Said, โ€œBecause you do not see her.โ€

Not understanding the message,
I asked for an explanation
The scene changed
You were in the arms of a monster
As he fed you his heart
And unable to break free, you ate it whole.
You and the monster turned to meโ€ฆ
โ€ฆit was I who was the monster
Forcing you to accept my love.

I woke with a start
The dream still swirling in my mind.
I reached for a paper and quill
And began to write a new song.
This song would be worthy of you
Iโ€™d call it everything but mine.
Iโ€™d tell the others how to court one
As graceful as you and to keep the hope
That one day, you would be mine.

My love for you consumed me
As I wrote line after line
Verse after verse trying to
Write something worthy of you.
But nothing I wrote
Could compare to you
Or encompass everything I felt
As you became the monster
And I the damsel.

It was only your death
That liberated me from my promise
And gave me the strength to write of you
That which had never been written before.
Now I could cast you as my angel
The one who by her grace
Brought me salvation.
Who came to me in my dream
And forgave all my transgressions.

This then is my ode to you
My love, my saviour,
You who brought me to earth
And gave me wings to fly to heaven.
You who introduced me to the Goddess
And in turn became my goddess herself.
I will forever be your humble servant
The one you showered with grace
And taught what it means to love.


Written as part of AtoZ. For more, check the Theme Reveal 2020 โ€“ 26 Letters of Love.

35 responses to “Everything but mine”

  1. Beautiful poem. There was love, romance, suspense and depth.. so much of it. loved it.

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    1. Awe thanks so much Sinjana.

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  2. Tina Basu Avatar
    Tina Basu

    This is such good writing. “You were timeless” – sometimes feelings are timeless too and you can fee it even after decades.

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    1. Thanks Tina. Yes, love can be timeless and boundary-less

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  3. anecdotesofmylife Avatar
    anecdotesofmylife

    My love my saviour gave me wings to heaven??

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    1. Yes because it brought the writer closer to the Goddess of Love ๐Ÿ™‚

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  4. Beautifully written Suchita. I’m a bit shallow at this I think. But was it death who was looking at her beauty?

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    1. It could be death, the Goddess of Love or the writer – anyone you think. Also death is an interesting interpretation.

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  5. Lyrical and mysterious. But who is the timeless love?

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    1. It could be the Goddess of Love, or it could be the person who the writer fell in love with. Completely your choice.

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      1. Oh. I’m a bit dumb I think…..

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  6. I loved how you started, ‘I was nine and you were timeless’. It just got so good from there… I am so impressed by your skill at writing.

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    1. Thank you for the compliment Ninu ๐Ÿ™‚

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  7. You shipped me to another world with this one! ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. Hope it was a nice place. Thank you.

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  8. Swarnali Avatar
    Swarnali

    You know what, it was not just a poem, it was something far beyond that. Loved every bit of it. And I saved it again. This poem just touched a chord. How beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you โค

      Liked by 1 person

  9. jaya1966 Avatar
    jaya1966

    Your poems are getting more poignant by the day. The end was beautiful and very touching.

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    1. Thanks Jai ๐Ÿ™‚

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  10. Anagha Yatin Avatar
    Anagha Yatin

    From crush to obsession to worship, the flow was marvelous, Suchita so was the drama about the whole thing. Excellent job with your craft!

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    1. Thank you for summarizing it so well ๐Ÿ™‚ This poem had been a treat to write.

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  11. Another amazing poem. Keep going, Suchita. It’s wonderful how you manage to convey so much in simple words.

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    1. I think this is why I don’t really understand structured poetry – because its not simple. Thanks Darshana.

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  12. Another brilliant piece of writing. I continue to stand impressed with your play of words. You are able to elicit deep emotions with your poetry, Suchita. This one left me a tad heavy-hearted in the end.

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    1. Well the end is supposed to be a new beginning so that’s a good thing. Thank you so much for your kind words Dipali.

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  13. Obsessive love! The all consuming kind! Great piece of writing. And you are telling me this is some of your first attempt at poetry? Hard to believe, suchita!

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    1. Not first attempt no, just a first attempt at writing 26 on a single topic with the added challenge of making them sound different. Thanks much Meena.

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  14. That’s so emotional and heart touching take Suchita, Beautifully penned, these lines took my breathe away,
    My love, my saviour,
    You who brought me to earth
    And gave me wings to fly to heaven.
    You who introduced me to the Goddess
    And in turn became my goddess herself.

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    1. Thank you so much for your very kind words Archana ๐Ÿ™‚

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  15. I was nine and you were timeless…
    Suchita it’s only getting better. The end left me teary eyed. But the beauty of love id that even when you think it’s gone it stays.

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    1. That is perhaps the power of love – it can last beyond space-time. So glad it touched you the way it did.

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  16. Hmm…stupendo-fantabulously-fantastical

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    1. Hmm I think I broke your keyboard! Thanks Ravish ๐Ÿ™‚

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  17. Wow! That was excellent… There is so much going on in there that I think it will take me some time to process it. But, the dream was so vividly portrayed and hard-hitting! Well done!

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    1. You’re very kind – thanks Namratha!

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