I have loved
And I have lost
The cycle continues
No end, no respite
But I must walk the path
For the only way forward
Is through.
Now I am tired
Of this constant fight
Wanting, rejecting
Well-meaning advice
Derision of my hope
Erosion of my faith
I want to stop and rest.
The rest has been easyโฆsafe
And going forward seems
As tedious as going back
What must I do
Now that I am at an impasse
Wait for things to happen
Or carpe diem?
They say after rock bottom
The only way you can go
Is up
But what is up?
How long does up take
Do I let go or hold on
When do I reach my zenith?
Oscillating between
Activity and inactivity
Is taking a toll
And the rolling eyes
Judging words
Mean I no longer know
What I want.
Must love always be
Difficult to procure?
A jealous master
Clutching you in its embrace
Providing comfort
Glory and pain
Building and destroying.
Patience is the antidote
I am prescribed.
Even as I exchange my
Black tinted glasses
With normal lenses
Love is not a race, I am told
So stay, instead of running.
Stay, and let go of the fear
And hold onto the romance
For that is your zenith
Which will creep upon you
As you lay asleep
Dreaming in your bed
Wishing, hoping.
Written as part of AtoZ. For more, check the Theme Reveal 2020 โ 26 Letters of Love.


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