As a woman, people seem to have a lot of opinions on me. Whether it is my job, my health, my body or my marital status, everyone has a lot to say about how I should be living. How I am failing if I’m not doing x or y or z.
Everybody has a definition of right and wrong but when it comes to a woman living her life, we love to force our vision on her. It’s interesting how much a woman scares people. Her very existence seems to warrant discourse, a guidebook, a means to curb her thoughts. I often wonder if men are given guardrails to help them live their life. If not, why not?
It’s International Women’s Day today, a day I have very mixed feelings on. Every time I think of 8 March, the first image that comes to mind is of a rose. Maybe because it’s an oft repeated gift that people give to women on this day. Unless they’re giving discounts. We tend to monetize everything, don’t we?
I don’t want to be a part of the discourse though, or tell women what they should or shouldn’t demand. We’re smart. We’ll figure it out. After all, no two women have the same needs.
What I do want to do is talk about all the people who have fought with me to silence the sound of social conditioning in my head that runs like a reel, telling me I cannot or should not achieve something. I want to celebrate my village for pushing me, even when I wanted to be a stubborn old goat, sit on a pavement and cry tears of failure.
Dad for telling me that I don’t need to take on responsibilities that aren’t mine. As an elder daughter, it is difficult to remember that the weight of the world is not on my shoulders.
Ma for reminding me that I’m allowed to be ambitious, to be stubborn about my vision. My tenacity is something I have inherited from you…even if it gives you the most grief.
Shreya for giving me her shoulder to rest on when my days become too hectic and I forget to slow down. She is the only one who will brave my ire by snatching away my book to force me to rest. Or take me out for watering.
My friends for loving me even when I didn’t think I could be loved. For never making me feel like I didn’t belong, even when I thought I couldn’t possibly. If they read this, I know they will have some choice words to say but beheno, this is true. The good thing is, I have learnt to accept your love and support.
My soul tribe for giving me a safe space to cry, scream, vent and laugh. You have no idea how much your presence has reminded me that I’m not a lone warrior, I can set down my armour, breathe and be.
Every Blogchatter community member who has shared or continues to share their stories with us. I learnt the strength of vulnerability from you.
To the A-team for being the partners in crime every employee should have at their back. Sona, for the deliberate way you think and speak. Geethica, for the way you give zero fucks. Leha, for your imagination and care. Richa, for teaching us how to be badass.
Every writer whose book I have read, and every writer whose book I hope to reach soon, thank you for showing me the magic of storytelling.
They say behind every successful man is a woman. Whether or not she’s rolling her eyes or silently manoeuvring said man is their call, of course.
However, behind this successful woman is a village that came together to support her and make sure she didn’t lose track of her dreams, even if sometimes she did because of how exhausting it can be.
It has been my privilege to know you and I hope I am able to share this privilege with as many people as I’m able. For there is nothing more comforting than knowing that someone is in your corner, cheering you on, even if all you’re doing is peeling a potato.
This post is a part of Her Journey Blog Hop hosted by Sukaina Majeed and Manali Desai.
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