Simran has been standing in front of her mirror for five minutes now and no matter how many times she tells her feet to move, they refuse to move. She has been staring at herself, her clothes and the way she has lined her eyes for those five minutes. It’s not like she can see anything wrong in her appearance. It’s more like she needs, absolutely bone-deep needs, to ensure she is looking…nice. She is going to meet her after all and the normal pyjama-and-faded-t-shirt wearing Simran wants to look like she made an effort.
It’s disgusting and ridiculous how much she cares but she cannot help herself. This woman has been her idol, mentor, teacher, punisher and every time they meet, Simran feels her heart beat a little faster, palms turn a little sweatier and a general feeling of oh shit engulfing her.
She knows that she does not need to impress Gunjan because she has done that already on numerous occasions but she cannot help that she turns into an overeager puppy, wanting to jump on her and play with her every time she comes to visit.
Simran’s phone beeps balefully, reminding her she has used up all her extra time dithering over whether today’s outfit will get a wow you’re looking so amazing from Gunjan. She laughs at herself and the thought of being late finally unsticks her feet and she’s able to leave her apartment.
She almost flies to her office building, none of the traffic, or pollution or heat getting to her. She isn’t even sweating like her body knows that a very important person is coming to town and everyone needs to look their best.
She arranges the coffee and sandwiches in the conference room as per Gunjan’s specifications. She knows her mentor likes her coffee with lots of milk and sugar so she makes sure both are abundantly available. Simran also knows she eats her lunch earlier than everyone else and hence has arranged for sandwiches. Since she is an important person for her office, no one questions her and for that Simran is grateful. She’s also glad that her best friend in office is on leave for two weeks. By the time she hears how Simran completely turned into a puddle of goo because Gunjan smiled at her, it would be too late to tease her.
Simran knows the moment she has entered the premises because the very air changes in the room. She knows she’s being a lovestruck fool but Gunjan sees her in a way no one has ever seen her. She calls her fun and no one has ever called her fun!
Gunjan enters the conference room and Simran waits for those warm eyes to land on her. When they do, they smile at each other. For a moment Simran forgets she’s not on the set of a romcom movie, there is no breeze blowing artistically and no violins playing in the background. Then she snaps out of it and greets Gunjan. The meeting begins and even Simran forgets that the most important person in her life is sitting next to her as they start discussing sales forecasts for the new quarter.
Their meeting lasts four hours and she knows, she knows, that Gunjan will not have time today to spend with her, outside work, just talking about everything and nothing. Those are her favourite moments – and meetings are always a tight time to find those moments.
She is despairing, readying herself for the crushing blow of Gunjan’s inevitable departure. It happens, Gunjan has another meeting so she needs to rush, and the only moment they get is Gunjan shaking her hand and squeezing it before running out of their building.
Simran takes a breath, allows the disappointment to rush through her, feels herself tearing up. Why did she get her hopes up? Time constraints have led to such abrupt hellos and goodbyes in the past. Yet every time, she goes through this loop. And every time, she has to pick up the pieces and glue herself back.
Does that mean she won’t do it the next time? Ha! Simran and Gunjan are soulmates and she will never let go of hope.
Song: Oops! I Did It Again by Britney Spears
Check out the other posts for 2023 here. Written as part of #BlogchatterA2Z
tales of Suchita 
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